It’s no secret that being fat or plus-sized (fat is a more fun word to use) can add up more pressure to the average, normally stressful way of life. If you have tried buying clothing while fat, sitting on a job interview while fat, glided through a moviehouse seating while fat, or getting a medical checkup while fat, you will know exactly what I mean by that. The task of dealing with other people’s expectations of you simply because you’re fat can be overwhelming.
If that’s not enough, try to imagine being stressed out dealing with your “size” and your 100% focus is needed on your wedding plans—that’s when things can get devastating.
Lindy West, explained in “My Wedding Was Perfect – And I Was Fat as Hell the Whole Time” that most women still agree with the patriarchal ideas that taught them about how they must get married, how they must be as beautiful as possible, and how they must be loved by a man, and if they don’t, they will not be truly happy or successful.
So, before laying all of the stuff on the line, it’s critical that one thing’s made crystalline clear: to survive being a fat bride, one needs to be tough enough to speak up before it gets intimidating and frustrating. You need to start with knowing what you really want to happen on your wedding day and being ashamed of your body size should be nowhere near that list.
When she was on the verge of giving up at being a fat bride, Emily Hill, in her article “The Day I Decided to Be a Fat Bride” realized that she alone will be able to determine the right decision to make if she wanted to be a happy fat bride by “[refusing] to let [her] body size determine [her] happiness and excitement for [her] wedding day.”
With that said, here are some tips and tricks that will save you tons of stress and ensure that your special day is made, well, extra special:
1. You do not need to lose weight.
Tradition has it that brides-to-be try their best to lose the most weight they can for the big day—go on a crash diet, get some crash exercise, and take just about any crash course on how to shed some pounds. Know however that trying to lose weight particularly for your wedding day will only add to your stress and agitation, not to mention the other wedding aspects that you have to take care of.
You do not need to change yourself to meet some people’s expectations of how a bride should look like. You are the bride and this is your wedding so the only expectations that need to be met here is yours.
2. Check out some real-life weddings.
Natalie Perkins, on her post “A Fat Bride Survival Guide,” advised not to limit yourself and your ideas to those that you see on glossy magazines or typical wedding websites or traditional platforms that feature fairytale weddings of skinny brides and picture-perfect grooms in tux. Surely, if you look at real-life wedding photos and videos, you should be able to get a whole lot more of ideas and concepts suitable to your “plus-sized needs”and give you that reassuring feeling you too are bound look great, enjoy, and have fun on your big day!
3. Invest on a good dressmaker.
This shouldn’t be a problem anymore if you or your mom have been working closely with a favorite dressmaker for most of your life. They will know exactly what to make for you for your special day.
If you haven’t yet however, ask friends and relatives for personal recommendations. People normally stick with one dressmaker who has so far given them a great experience working together. While it helps to have your own design for your dress, having a good dressmaker is ideal so you can work together in coming up with ideas on your wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses that have been brainstormed and personalised for you and the bridesmaids.
4. Wear comfy shoes that fit you correctly.
We understand that you will want to match your perfect wedding dress with the sexiest pumps, but most weddings go on for hours (sometimes even a day or two!). So make sure to have your most comfortable shoes ready to sneak your feet into after the formal ceremony where you will most likely wear your heels.
You may have some sneakers handy just in case you will want to heat up the dance floor or actively participate in some of the games your wedding coordinator may have prepared for the occasion. Again, this is your wedding day, so no one should be able to dictate what you should or should not be able to wear.
5. You may do away with traditional parts of the ceremony/celebration.
Just as you may want to nix the wine and cake part of the reception (for fear that one slice of that sumptuous red velvet will never be enough), you may also do away with the garter show and find some alternative to it.
Some brides find it uncomfortable having the husband dig his mouth through the skirts to find a garter and even feel more uneasy having to show off their thighs to an entire room of people. Work with your wedding planner on any alternatives you can replace this part with, or better yet, just simply do away with it.
It should go without saying that the most important thing to remember to do to survive your wedding day is to simply have an awesome time. All the months of planning, stress, reservations, shopping, sleepless nights, and making big decisions will all be worth it if you have all the fun in the world during this day.
Savor the moment of being the most beautiful bride that you could be around all the people that you love and who loves you and wish you all the best on your married life—and ever after.