We all love the emotional highs that come with beginning a brand new and promising relationship. The feelings we feel are rare, but when they come they release the butterflies in our stomach and send our minds adrift onto Cloud 9. You know the feeling right? – When you can’t stop daydreaming, you’re singing in the shower and you feel a wave of freedom and happiness sweep you off your feet. Sooner or later, when the honeymoon period phases out, we begin to settle back into our normal selves and find a routine with our new partner. And then the occassional disagreements begin to occur and we find ourselves bringing up old wounds that may have nothing to do with our current partner. When we do this, we often find ourselves blaming new lovers of things old lovers did. It’s an unjust action that, though hard to break, is absolutely necessary to rid ourselves of.
Here are three ways you may be hurting your current relationship because of what happened in the past.
1. Prove Yourself
When we’ve been hurt in the past we’re often fearful that the same thing will happen all over again. So we live in a constant state of fear and pretty much expect that our new partners will repeat our old beau’s mistakes; trust me when I say you’re only setting yourself up for disaster and will most likely ruin the good thing you currently have going. When you create arguments that aren’t necessary or suggest problems that don’t exist, you are giving the relationship no room to develop faith, trust and confidence.
2. Jealousy Issues Over Their Ex’s
Whether your partner has given you reason to or not, its inevitable that feelings of jealousy will continuously surface whenever the topic of their ex’s are brought up. It’s natural and we’re only human. We may not have any real reason to be jealous but we fear what we don’t know – which in this case is the history your partner shared with their ex. Talk about it if something bothers you – but don’t create scenarios in your head and get angry for no reason.
3. Let Go Of Any Preconceptions
Everyone in their mind has a pre-conceived vision of how they want their perfect partner to be. We’re often comparing our real partners to an ideal that may or may not exist. Whatever the case, we must remember that love is about appreciating someones strong points just as much as we accept their weak points. We can’t marry someone expecting them to change.